Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The lawn, and other popular points of contention

A constant feature of my marriage is our ongoing discussion about the lawn. Or, as it might be - tomorrow's field of canola. I think we can both agree that there are some good points and some bad points to a lawn, and usually when we've done discussing those, we inevitably start discussing how I think we should arrange the kitchen draws. My thoughts on the pantry in particular are highly unpopular, and after enough back-and-forth, the end result is a little less lawn, and kitchen unchanged in its configuration. So it should come as no surprise that when I recently mentioned how over-populated our herb garden has become, it was met with more than a little suspicion as to where that comment was going.

Lucky for me a kitchen renovation hangs in the balance, and I found myself lifting squares of lawn somewhat sooner than usual - while the wife stood at the door with a face that showed more than a hint of doubt. Although, as you can see, I could have built a to-scale replica of Federation Square in this ugly corner of the yard - and it would look no worse.

So first I set about dealing a mortal blow to hideousness of the poorly-built but functional carport the last owners installed in what could only have been an effort to reduce their council rates via a lower property evaluation. Failing that, the least I could do is try to distract you from seeing it. After increasing the share price of Wesfarmers during my latest trip to Bunnings, I found myself back in the yard with some lattice, paint and 'couple bags of lazy-man's concrete.

Never missing a chance to take up some consumer-offsets, I'd recently acquired a large quantity of bush rock on Freecycle. This was scattered around the top end my my driveway, largely due to my lack of care in where it landed after moving three ute-loads of it on a cold Saturday morning. The only thing it was contributing in its current location was to the totality of the carport's aura of unsightliness. In all likeliness, the promise of this rock being moved to a more attractive position in the garden was a greater factor in my conquest of the lawn than any avoided arrangement of pantry containers.

I put in a curved garden wall of bush rock, and set them in place with an edge of concrete I euphemistically say matches the rugged look offered by the rock. I moved in some thyme, marjoram, oregano, parsley and half the country's yearly output of sugarcane mulch.

Looks great, doesn't it? Even the wife thinks so.